Thursday, 23 August 2012

TV, Tangents and Trash

I just watched a tv show where six months earlier a son had helped his father pack up his mothers clothing for him to take to goodwill/dispose of after her death and his son found out that his dad had hidden them in the garage. His father said he had felt as if getting rid of the boxes would be like closing a door on his wife and that he was giving her away. But he had realised now that everything about his life with his wife was inside him and that even though her things may be gone she will always be part of him.

It got me thinking about all the ‘things’ in my life and the ‘things’ I lost when I divorced and stuff I still have and hold onto that really do not matter in the great scheme of things. I have boxes and boxes in my attic of stuff I really do not need to keep. Some of it is there because when my last ex (after my divorce ) left I really did not have the physical or emotional strength to go through it all and chuck it out so it just got left, at the time it would have been too painful to go through it but now thankfully those emotions are no longer there so I could go up there to de-clutter and junk it all. The problem I have with that is that there is stuff from various periods in my life that I have not reconciled the emotions from and if I come across those sort of things I am going to have to deal with all those emotions. So do I procrastinate further and leave all the ex junk or do I bite the bullet and deal with all the emotional upheaval that will ensue with all my other memory and emotional inducing objects ?

The one clear thought I have is that all of my personal belongings and things I wanted to keep from when Ben was little and the things that were bought for us as a couple ( from my family & friends ) when my husband and I were together that I was not allowed to take that have niggled and niggled at me over the years since really do not matter at all and I can now shut the door on those niggles. I may not have the photos or babygros or the china my parents bought us or the glasses my close friend bought for us when we got engaged or even my childhood teddy bears but I have the memories and now that is enough for me.

I find it odd how one little section from a tv show can make the mind go off on a tangent and suddenly rectify something. The human mind is an amazing thing sometimes.


  1. I so relate to this post. I have a few boxes of stuff from difficult times that I just can't go through ...I have tried and it's just too overwhelming. I was able to part with some stuff when we moved, but it was tough.


  2. I have a friend who went through a similar thing. She just kept saying that she could not stand the thought of looking at the things she had stored away. Then her Neighbor's House Burned down and it sort of triggered my friend to just Tie In... I believe that her DREAD was way worse than the reality.
    When it is TIME for YOU to ... make a start... YOU will know it.