I can believe that it will be a month tomorrow that Izzy left us for the Rainbow Bridge. It has been one of the toughest months of my life. I have had dogs cross the bridge before but none have affected me the way this has, I have always considered it the last loving act I can show my babies and I do still believe that but we have always known it was coming because they were very ill. We had none of that with Izzy. The swiftness of her decline, the shock of the vet call telling me to get back urgently and the sight of Izzy not being able to lift her head let alone stand up was just horrendous. I cannot get my last image of Izzy out of my head not matter how hard I try and it just keeps breaking my heart. I know it is selfish but I want her back so badly. |I would give anything for her to chuff in my ear in the morning and then whack me on the head with her paw to get me up, I never needed an alarm clock with my girly.
I think I needed her as much as she needed me, I know she has saved my life more than once when I have been at some of my seriously low points. I also never realised how much the household routine revolved around her, set times for medications different times for her eye drops, her demands for fusses and giving her massages. It has left me without a routine which certainly doesn't help much either.
The other pups have been lost without their leader, the boys have settled down a lot now but when her Dad is at work Bean is very whiny & whingy, it was only when I was going through some photos that I realised quite how much Bean and & Izzy snuggled together daily so it is understandable why she cries for her sisfur. Hiro is stepping up though, the boy who never let anyone but Izzy snuggle with him now lets Bean snuggle ( I am very proud of him ).
I will get there in time I'm just glad I have got passed the anger I was feeling, I have been biting poor Steve's head off