I have returned home alone this evening and oh my gosh does the house ( for it is a house again now and not a home ) feel empty, no happy dance, no happy singing and no tippy toes tapping on the laminate floor. To use the word bereft to describe how I feel at the moment is about the nearest most appropriate word I can think of. I’m feeling guilty for not crying more but I know I am crying for myself and not for my girly, right now my girly is running in the sunshine with two good working eyes, a magnificent coat of long golden fur with no pain or sickness and that makes me feel happy. The sadness I feel is for myself because I have not got her here with me to share my life, my tears are selfish because I want her here so I can cuddle her. If my Molly taught me anything it was courage, bravery and unselfishness so that is what I will be in her memory. I will think of the way she cocked her head to certain noises I made to her and I will smile as she would want me to.
I also know that I will l not give up fostering older dogs as Molly would be so cross with me if I did that, she would be very peeved if I did not carry on loving dogs that need that little bit extra like she did. I didn’t quite know what to expect when I started this forever fostering but I certainly didn’t expect Molly ! The dog I expected was very sickly and I expected her to be quite lethargic and not very fun loving ………… D’oh ! I got the most fun loving, outgoing, adorable little girl you could wish for. She mapped out the house and went wherever she wanted to go, she loved a good snuffle in the garden, she hopped on and off of sofas with careless abandon and she chased her twirly whirly spinning top with gusto. She did have days where she was happy just to lie next to me and simply be…………….. those were usually days where I did not feel too great and she always knew when those days were here. She comforted me when things go to much for me and I would look at her all full of courage and her never complaining and I always thought what the heck do I have to feel sorry for myself about. If my tiny bundle of fluff could fight then so could I.
I sometimes think she came along when she did because she knew I needed her at a difficult time in my life, maybe I am right maybe I am wrong but I do think I needed her more out of the pair of us. All I know is I
loved love that angel of mine with everything I have in me and just because she is not on my spiritual plain anymore that does not mean I will stop loving her. That is just never going to happen.
Because I am and will be Forever Mollys Momma