been in a very good place since Christmas really and recent events have not helped me much if I am honest. My son now has a date for his surgery and it is not until the end of March which leads me to believe that they are now not too worried about what the lump could be. I am only surmising this as I was not privy to either of his consultations. It was made quite clear to me that my attendance was not wanted or needed even though I expressed my wishes that I wanted to be there.
I have also been extremely hurt by someone who I really and truly believed was a very good friend and always would be. I felt we understood each other as we seemed to have shared similar experiences and problems as we had been through our lives. Someone who I am going to miss a great deal but some who has felt the need to stop being my friend for reasons I do not not know.
I spent most of the weekend in tears and then following being told on Monday that I was not wanted at my sons consultation today I spent most of Monday night in tears as well.
I went to the see my GP yesterday because I could feel myself spiralling & sinking into a quagmire of depression not helped by the constant joint pains I have and thankfully this GP really listened. He is making me an appointment to see a rheumatologist as the blood tests that the GP receptionist told me were normal were not they showed that there is inflammation so the problem could very likely be RA. So I came away with pain pills and I am back on anti depressants again, I do not see the fact that I am on anti d’s again a failure because I recognised the fact I was spiralling down again. The GP also actually read my notes and said you have been complaining of these pains for over 2 years to which I replied yes I know I have ! He also examined me !!! I know I was stunned and he did acknowledge there is swelling in some of my joints especially my hands at the moment. ( Typing is causing a fair bit pain hence the lack of blog-age on mine and dogs part ).
Anyway the upshot of all of this is that I should start finding myself in a better place soon which will be lovely. I have to say though my three babies have been most wonderful, loving n snuggly so while I may not feel much like a Mom to my son anymore I still most definitely am a Mom to my 3 four legged babes.
So right now the motto of the moment is……………………………………..
Onwards and Upwards